Schindler
Friday, December 29th, 2006
I realize at 25 I should already have seen this film, but tonight was the night. My first thought was Darfur, and the 400,000. And then the string of genocides from Cambodia to Rwanda that we can’t seem to figure out a way to prevent. Then, I thought about Amon’s callous, arbitrary destruction of lives, and I was struck by the thought that a whole group of Christians views God as that arbitrary decider of life and destruction. As the bodies flopped to the ground, that thought raked against my understanding of unalienable dignity ad the knowledge that I am certainly not more loving than God.
And I struggle processing the simultaneous hope and despair involved in these overwhelming scenes. Trying to save so many, knowing many many more go unsaved. Hoping that “whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.” But thinking all the time of how much money I have already wasted in my life and “this is gold; two more people.” It is the same here, now. People dying, doing a little to help, wasting some money. But here, here I can forget it for a while. I don’t want pain reliever, I want a cure.
